At her pirate-and-pinup-and-Scotsman-themed wedding this past summer, my sister and her husband gave out bottles of wine they’d made themselves. The guests were to cellar the wine for six months, and then open them and toast the happy couple in the middle of winter when we were all in separate locations again.
The wine turned out to be delicious, and the tradition was charming. It also got Mr. Waite and I talking about the traditional anniversary presents—we knew the 1st was paper, and the 25th was silver, and the 50th was gold, but beyond that we were clueless and curious and we’d just finished a bottle of good homemade red wine. So we decided to look it up on Wikipedia.
And—holy hell. Apparently there is a traditional English list, a traditional American list, and a list created in 1937 by the American National Retail Jeweler Association. (Coincidentally, this was around the time when diamond engagement rings were being aggressively pushed on the public by the cartels who carefully regulated the world’s supply of diamonds—but I digress. The wonky post on diamond history will come at another time.)
The list from 1937 is mind-boggling in its weirdness. Here are the highlights:
1st anniversary: clocks.
4th anniversary: appliances.
7th anniversary: desk sets.
9th anniversary: leather goods
24th anniversary: musical instruments.
41st anniversary: land.
42nd anniverary: improved real estate (i.e. better land)
44th anniversary: groceries.
And lastly, the 46th anniversary: original poetry tribute. I used this love poem generator to create this one for the imagined 46th anniversary of Han and Leia:
For my love, Han Solo.
I feel so angry and tingly sometimes,
When I think of you each night and day,
And when I see you, I see blaster fire,
I love you more than words can say…
You’re so perfect enough to freeze in carbonite as decoration! This love is hot enough to liquefy frozen carbonite!
I can’t resist your smirk, it’s true!
The stars and scoundrels fade into shadows…
I am absolutely crazy for you!
Your soul is shifty; your heart is smouldering,
And my heart is truly in your hands.
I could shoot and escape ’til life was done,
But YOU are the focus of my plans.
This erotic fury is perfect enough to freeze in carbonite as decoration my love,
And for you, Han Solo, I thank Heaven above.
All my love, Princess Leia x
Bonus menu screencap:
Who wouldn’t click yes?