The Billionaire Bait-and-Switch

{This is less review and more analysis. It goes without saying that there are spoilers all up in here, so be warned.}

I had no business reading this book. My only defense is that the blurb said the couple would go “from spreadsheets to bed sheets” and I was captivated by the wordplay.

Cover for Jennifer Hayward's The Magnate's Manifesto.I do not generally have a positive response to the Battle of the Sexes trope in romance. (For example, this fiasco.) So although I do enjoy the occasional HP, I am clearly not this book’s target audience.

“Not this book’s target audience” is definitely the nicest thing I can say about The Magnate’s Manifesto.

The truest thing I can say is: never have I so intensely and consistently wanted to punch a hero right in his crotch.

Oh, there is such a long rant I could write about Jared Stone, the magnate of the title. Every pet peeve I could have with a hero, he wears like a badge of honor. He’s controlling, cruel, hypocritical, self-righteous, and publicly handsy with his heroine/employee. At two-thirds of the way through, he gets so mad at the heroine that he has to fight off the urge to strangle her. This happens to be one of my biggest personal NOPE buttons in a romance. For me, the HEA died right there on the page.

But a romance hero is a made thing. A romance hero is a generated by the novel he appears in, the way nuclear reactors generate radioactive byproducts. So now that I am up to my neck in this particular brand of toxic sludge, it’s less useful to describe how nauseous I feel and more useful to talk about exactly how the reactor is misfiring.

Note: this does not mean I’ll be speculating about the author’s intentions. She seemed very pleasant and professional when we chatted briefly on Twitter. I will, though, be questioning the value of her choices as they appear on the page. If you can’t parse the difference, feel free to tell your friends I am Not Nice. It’s probably true.

Putting the ‘Man’ in ‘Manifesto’

Category romance as a form is often quite elegantly balanced. Which is to say: if the hero writes a manifesto to start the plot rolling, odds are he’ll write a second manifesto at the climax to resolve the conflict. And indeed, Jared does. These two essays, both published as full-page pieces in the Chronicle, mark the beginning and the end of our hero’s character arc.

Here is the start of the first manifesto, titled “The Truth About Women”:

Having dated and worked with a cross-section of women from around the globe, and having reached the age where I feel I can make a definitive opinion on the subject matter, I have come to a conclusion: Women lie.

Oh, he’s not done:

They want a man who will take care of them, who gives them a hot night between the sheets and diamond jewelry at appropriate intervals. Who will prevent them from drifting aimlessly through life without a compass…

MANifesto indeed. Pretty standard misogynist talking points, with the usual built-in logical paradoxes. Notice how women are both dangerously active (“women lie,” “women start every day with an agenda”) and contemptibly passive (without a man they’re just “drifting aimlessly through life”). You’ll be unsurprised to hear that Jared has a poor view of women and marriage because his mother was a money vampire who bled his father dry. When the money ran out, so did she. Jared’s father fell to pieces, and his son wears that resentment like an aegis because romance heroes are apparently allowed to judge all women based on the actions of one woman who’s hurt them personally.

As a result of overcoming a wealthy but emotionally bankrupt childhood, Jared considers himself a superior kind of person. A leader. “A gilded ray of brilliance for all to follow.” That is a direct quote, and possibly the most flat-out arrogant thing I’ve ever seen a hero say. It is like supervillain language.

Now, on the one hand, we know the hero’s going to have to be humbled at some point. That’s how romance novels go. Yet the power is part of the acknowledged HP fantasy: we know, we canny romance readers, that the hero of a Harlequin Presents will remain on top of his game, that he will wind up victorious at the end of the book. I am unable to reconcile my two realizations at this part of the story: 1) this man’s views are profoundly shitty and awful, and 2) this man will ultimately get what he wants.

It’s easy to believe, reading this first MANifesto, that the book is setting up Jared’s attitude as the problem to be solved by the course of the plot. Because his attitude is a problem. It is a problem for millions of anonymous women in the book, who respond with “international female outrage.” His attitude is a problem for his company’s PR team and his mentor and his investors and his board. It is a problem for Jared’s employee, heroine Bailey St. John, who immediately marches into his office with her resignation letter in hand. The only one who doesn’t see the problem here is Jared himself, because of course this document was “just a joke.” He says this quite a lot, in fact, with very bad grace. He resents the idea that a joke could have consequences outside his intentions.

Does his attitude actually get fixed in the rest of the book? To answer this, let’s take a look at the second manifesto (italics for ease of block quoting):

“Experience had taught me that many women do not want the career life we as a society have insisted they do. That cries of a glass ceiling were perpetuated by females caught up in their own self-deception. And if the truth be known, I was not overly sold on a woman’s place in the boardroom, nor her ability to stand toe-to-toe with a man.

“Then I had the chance to work with a woman I have admired for years … I have to admit I severely underestimated her. [Several sentences praising Bailey’s skill as a thinker and marketer.] 

“This extraordinary woman also taught me something else. Something far more important than the value of a woman in the boardroom. She has proven me wrong about a woman’s place in my life. Hers.”

This second manifesto is correcting a different problem entirely. The initial one showed: Jared Stone has shitty opinions about women. This manifesto insists: I have learned that women are capable but more importantly, now I have a great relationship. The idea that Jared’s personal happiness is more important than institutionalized sexism? Pretty sexist. Jared has obviously learned nothing.

You’ll have guessed that this second manifesto also contains a marriage proposal, because it’s a Grand Romantic Gesture at the end of a Presents. Part of what Jared promises is, no shit: “I can offer you a lion in the bedroom because that part is still true and I know you like it. Love it, actually.”

My reaction is twofold:

1) Women like good sex, news at 11.

2) This is a public, full-page piece in the San Francisco Chronicle. Addressed to a woman who is still an employee and subordinate. Marry me so I can keep giving you that good deep dicking you enjoy, says our supposedly unchauvinised hero. That Bailey enjoys sex is not a problem. But for her employer to take out a full-page ad crowing about how much she likes the fuckin’? When she’s in marketing and her job is all about perception? When in practice women get shamed and punished much more than men for the exact same sexual behavior?

That is a goddamn problem.

The Virgin Business Stripper

Jared’s manifestos are not the only example of this book moving the goalposts.

Heroine Bailey St. John (I know, right?) starts as an ambitious, dedicated career woman, a living counterargument to Jared’s sexist beliefs. He promotes her under protest as a desperate PR move, though literally every other character tells him he’s an idiot for not having promoted her earlier. We’re set up for a classic Extraordinary Woman Proves Sexism Wrong narrative — not one of my faves, as noted above — when it’s revealed that Bailey worked her way through business school in Las Vegas as a high-end stripper.

Okay, I guess we’re going somewhere with this?

Turns out Bailey’s childhood was both emotionally and financially bankrupt. She had nothing except her looks, so she made those work for her and got out. Now comes the part of the story where Heroine’s Lurid Past Threatens To Destroy All She’s Worked For. Because of course the French dude Jared needs to impress to seal the deal of the century recognizes Bailey from her days as a dancer. And says he’ll be much more amenable to signing the contract if Bailey spends the night with him. French Dude is basically the living reflection of Bailey’s sexualized past and he is so fucking frightening that it is unreal. I mean, seriously, props to the author for my complete terror of this guy and what he was going to do. (Spoiler: nothing. He does nothing. A few creepy scenes and poof, he’s gone.) Jared works himself into a jealous froth, sweeps Bailey up in his arms, and now we’re set to kick off the physical part of the relationship.

Which is when our heroine confesses that actually, she’s a virgin.

Jared says “You are goddamn joking” and drops her on her ass on the floor. Which is the most I ever liked him, but the scene unfortunately punctures suspension of disbelief pretty thoroughly.

Then Jared goes back to being hateful and gets mad at the heroine for being a virgin because he doesn’t fuck virgins.

Look, the no-virgins rule makes sense in older historical periods, when breach of promise was a real legal threat. It makes no damn sense in 2015 San Francisco. And yet: “he didn’t do the big V. Wasn’t capable of it. It would be like asking him to vote Republican. To suggest he leave a big messy pile in the middle of his impeccably clean desk.

“Clean desk, clean mind, his Zen master had told him on that thirty-day search to find his soul.”

Did you guys know Buddhism was about finding your soul in thirty days through proper desk organization? I did not. This fucking guy.

So that’s our heroine: an ambitious businesswoman (driven, high-achieving) revealed as former stripper (feminine, sexualized) revealed as frigid virgin (innocent, vulnerable). None of these layers blend well together. She’s like a human version of that Friends episode where the cookbook pages get stuck together and Rachel ends up putting ground beef in the dessert.

The Bait and Switch

At the end of all this, Jared’s big moment of revelation doesn’t come from the heroine at all. It comes from his estranged father. Wouldn’t you know it, reading Jared’s manifesto made him want to reach out and tell his son that it wasn’t the evil golddigger wife who was the problem — no, his dad “lost his mind” because of “his lack of faith in himself. His inability to follow his dreams.”

So the real problem all along was that Jared Stone, self-described gilded ray of brilliance, didn’t believe in himself.

Have we been reading the same book?

Meanwhile, the heroine is also having the rug pulled out from under her: turns out a clause in her shiny new contract states Jared can fire her, for any reason, after sixty days. It’s an escape hatch, a way to mitigate the supposed risk of hiring a token female executive, and I’m with Bailey in finding this deceptive and hurtful. “Be reasonable,” Jared scolds her, because he’s the worst.

To her everlasting credit, Bailey promptly dumps his ass. Which may be why at least one Goodreads review refers to her as a bitch. I disagreed: I would have enjoyed at least 50% more bitchiness, at minimum. I grew fond of Bailey in spite of her inconsistent characterization. It felt like I was the only person who was going to support her — the narrative offers her cruelty by coincidence (what are the odds slimy French Dude would remember one stripper from ten years ago?) and for all the hero’s lip service to respect and trust, his actions undermine the heroine’s comfort and security at nearly every turn.

The points outlined above are the biggest bait-and-switch moments, but there are plenty of others: small derailing moments in dialogue, false equivalencies everywhere (dating a virgin = voting Republican = having a messy desk, remember?), worries that are raised and treated as weighty obstacles only to be resolved in a page or dropped entirely. A chameleon heroine (and not in a fun shifter kind of way.) A hero we’re told over and over again is brilliant — using that actual word — but who always picks the most obvious, least considered path.

The main mechanism of this book, both in dialogue and in structure, is to set up a game and then change the rules in the final quarter. In another genre, without romance’s promise of stability and union, this technique could be subversive. Here, it’s aggravating and dishonest. This book, like its hero, is desperate to avoid dealing with the consequences of its words. It promises one thing then hands you something else and expects you to be grateful for the effort.

A romance hero’s entire job is to satisfy — but this book is dissatisfying on every possible level.

___

For more long-form romance criticism, check out the other For the Love of Lit Crit posts or the Intersectional Feminism A – Z series.

For billionaires who deliver, try Courtney Milan’s Trade Me or Alisha Rai’s Gentleman in the Street. For disclosure’s sake I should mention I am friendly with both authors on Twitter, even though saying that feels like a humblebrag.

 

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2 thoughts on “The Billionaire Bait-and-Switch

  1. A small thing, but I feel like I have to give the author props for the voting Republican comment. Most romance authors (or perhaps their editors) steer very clear from putting anything that directly political/partisan in their books.

    Goodreads category reviews can be kind of terrifying, can’t they… the way some interpret heroines having any agency at all as slutty or bitchy or what have you.

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