Tag Archives: crystals

Idle Hands

Well! The vacation was lovely — even during the part where I threw up on a fish — but it took us two full days to get home again. And then! I undertook a full backup of my computer — a huge backup that erased all the other littler backups — and in the middle of this important process my hard drive up and died like Sean Bean when he’s got second billing.

For a while it looked as though I’d lost everything — photos, music, the entire contents of my documents folder, with its current manuscripts and past manuscripts and half-finished manuscripts, can you imagine — but luckily the inimitable Mr. Waite was able to salvage the documents from the half-finished backup. And now I’m writing this blog post from a brand-new, shiny computer.

But what does a writer do when her primary mode of composition is unavailable?

This writer makes jewelry.

A turquose, white, and gold bangle with pearl accents made of glass, crystal and seed beads. It rests in the palm of a pinkish hand.

I’m calling this the Botticelli Bangle. The pattern is the Scheherezade Bangle from Sabine Lippert‘s Beaded Fantasiesthough I took liberties with the colors and bead amounts. Bonus: it continues this summer’s Grecian theme! I can wear it to the other four weddings we’re attending in the months to come!

So yes, I promise I’ll be back to blogging regularly now. But it’s nice to know I can be productive even when I’m being unproductive.

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Horrible Hats: An Etsy Roundup

Let’s get right to the point: here are some very expensive things you can buy on Etsy and put on your head if you have no sense of taste, style, or self-respect.

Ruby Feathers White Fox Fur and Macaw War Bonnet by rubyfeathers

I don’t have to explain why this is horrible, do I? Why wearing a fake war bonnet “inspired by Mayan and North American culture” is offensive to Mayans, Native Americans, and anyone who is actually fighting one of the many known and covert wars we’ve got going on right now? But if you really want to spend a cool five grand advertising your complete assholery to others, go right ahead, I guess.

Molecular Mermaid Helmet by jasminzorlu

Supposedly this hat was custom-ordered by Erikah Badu—and there’s evidence—but our main advertising image really oughta be a (topless?) white Drew Barrymore lookalike. Black celebrity endorsements don’t mean anything on Etsy.

Beatrice by KatieBurley

We must face facts: bees are adorable. And the “Beatrice” pun is tickling my weird little funny bone. But if I’m going to spend this much money on a hat it had better be encrusted with fine crystals.

Swarovski Crystal Encrusted Mini Top Hat by venusinchains

That’s better.

TBA by hatsbytracytooker

The only thing more ridiculous than paying a thousand dollars for someone else’s idea of a hat is paying Etsy listing fees for an item you haven’t made yet. And she has a dozen similar listings.

But she’s also got things like this:

Triumph by hatsbytracytooker

Someone tell Chuck Wendig we’ve found Miriam Black‘s hat!

Wedding Cake by hatmosphere2008

When I look at this hat, I hear a gravelly announcer voice: “… and Darryl Hannah as Miss Havisham.”

From the same seller:

Falconers Hood by hatmosphere2008

Description: “This is a human size hat made in the style of the Falcon hoods. It is made of a high quality leather, with bead work, crystals , and feathers. It is comfortable lined and fits most female heads. The corset like back must be loosened to get on and tightened for a snug fit.”

Most. Female. Heads.

That is Serial Killer 101 right there.

For more advanced students, we have:

Kinich Ahau Sun God Mask by whitcritt

But wait—there’s more!

Kinich Ahau Sun God Mask by whitcritt

The mask was supposedly made by some dude in Hawaii, but the seller is in Los Angeles. It’s an Etsy mystery!

Today’s winner:

Small Ship Fascinator by ProfMaelstromme

The reason this wins is that it is based on a historical hat!

Amazing.

{This post brought to you by the indifferently stylish author of such historical romances as Damned if You Do and Hearts and Harbingers, both of which feature attractive heroes who are naked 90% of the time.}

 

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Under The Mistletoe: An Etsy Roundup

We here at Olivia Waite get pretty excited about dressing up for the holidays. We have been known to wear sequined sweaters, and red velvet jumpers, and combine red and green in quantities that are contrary to the intuition of the more sophisticated, fashionable, and hip. At present, we are thinking very carefully about how best to tie a stick to the head of our mini dachshund so he will look like Max from How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

A still shot of a leaping Max and a skeptical Grinch from How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Just the kind of wild, misguided enthusiasm that comes standard around these parts.

It is possible that you, however, are more tasteful in the ways you play with holiday elements in your clothing and accessories. This, we understand. Perhaps you also have a certain shy someone you intend to beguile and ply with holiday delicacies in anticipation of some kind of cozy, winter-warming sexytimes. This also, we understand. Sleeping alone is something only August’s heat requires.

And so, we have culled from the vast reaches of Etsy this roundup of mistletoe jewelry. Perhaps kisses may be acquired?

Holiday Holly Feather Hairclip by MetroGypsy
Mistletoe Bride earrings by Feral Strumpet
Mistletoe Bride necklace by Feral Strumpet
Mistletoe Earrings by Honey Thistle
Gold Mistletoe and Vine necklace by SilverGirlUK
Mistletoe red pendant and peridot necklace by beadpod8

And finally, for the Potter fans among us:

Luna Lovegood Pick Your Own Mistletoe Harry Potter quote necklace by PrettyLittleCharmsUK

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Winging It

You may remember an earlier post where I talked about how making jewelry is similar to making a book: plans go awry, and accidents are revealed as miracles—or vice versa. Recently, I had another opportunity to consider this theory of mine.

My sister was getting married, and her wedding theme was Pirate Formal. I’ve been working on her wedding necklace for months—buying four colors of crystal, learning to work with new materials and techniques, and mostly just keeping my fingers crossed that my ideas would look like a real thing and not Amateur Hour at Lulu’s Jewelry Shack. Her dress had been described to me, roughly, but mostly I was flying blind.

The night before we were to head across the border, I finished putting all the bits together and sent my sister this picture:

Wood-grain background, on which sits a multi-strand necklace of red, yellow, blue, white, and green crystal, with silver winged skulls and a skeleton lady cameo as centerpiece.
What the heck / around your neck / a pirate rainbooooowww ...

Continue reading Winging It

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