Today on Facebook a friend commented to say that, rather than a computer, he wanted the internet attached directly to his head.
I could not share his wish, for the following reasons.
Things That Would Happen If The Internet Was Attached To My Head
- Imagine that Google’s search engine responded to your momentary whim instead of words typed with your fingers. Just today, I would have gotten vast acres of links about: the etymology of the word cock, recipes for chicken marsala, weather patterns in 19th century Sumatra, latest news on giant squid, the history of Carcassonnne (the city), the history of Carcassonne (the board game), the history of Carcassonne (the Xbox Arcade game), and the musical Chess by Abba. I would also have gotten sponsored links (ads) on all those topics and a bunch of new spam emails.
- Imagine that Amazon or eBay or Etsy or ModCloth or—ye gods—Anthropologie could let you make purchases with a single thought instead of a click. Upside: I would have all the sweaters. Downside: I would have negative money. Even more negative money than I do now.
- Speaking of spam—can you imagine having to sort the spam folder in your mind?
